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2、逛街时一个戴墨镜的乞讨者拦住了我:“帅哥,行行好,我是个瞎子。”我正准备掏钱时媳妇拦住了我:“得了吧,明显就不是瞎子。”我想了想,指着媳妇问他:“这个女的漂亮不?”他看了看媳妇:“漂亮。”我笑着对媳妇说:“没错,是真瞎。”

3、初中时候,我一个同学犯了错误。去教导处挨批的时候,偷偷拿教导处的印章在白纸上盖了个章……回来后在纸上写:“此学生因情况特殊,打饭时可以插队!”如果不是被教导处主任的女儿举报,他初中三年买饭是不用排队的!

4、一个外国同学曾经在非洲救过一只小狮子,后来长大了给送回非洲大草原了,好几年过去了,这个外国同学前几天去看小狮子,他远远的看到了它,它也在一群懒散的狮子中醒目的看到了这个外国同学,外国同学下车狂奔而去,那头狮子也撇下一众狮子向他狂奔而来,还差十几米的距离外国同学忽然停了下来,他发现他认错狮子了……

5、感冒了,相亲对象非陪着我去看医生。排队时还一直说“其实感冒不用来看医生的,你听我的,多喝水,多运动保证能好”我懒得搭理他,终于到我了,医生随便问了几个问题,说“你这没啥,多喝水,多出去走走就好了…”临走时,高潮来了,相亲对象居然对医生说“爸,我今晚不回去吃饭了”

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